Why is it so hard to force myself to do something little, like go to school? I mean, my appt is at 2pm, and I mean... I'm not even going to a class. I just go, talk to her, and then... oh.. it's the handing in of the OSAP stuff that's scaring me; even if I do it with her there. Ahh... but I mean, you'd think the fact that your mother is working three jobs and going crazy and needs your rent and might have to move out and blah blah blah would force you to do something little like hand in some papers... no matter how SCARY that might be to you, or how little MOTIVATION you have to even move?!?!? Aaaahhhh...... why am I like this??? WHY?!?!?!?

Fuck. Do I get ready? Do I have enough time to get ready now? It's like, 12:08, and I'd have to leave at 1:45 at the latest... but I don't know if I have clean clothes and I need to have a shower... but the thought of my mother coming home and me telling her that I didn't go, yet again, and STILL haven't handed those papers in, is enough to scare the hell out of me and also... it'd probably give her a nervous breakdown, so still... why the fuck am I not doing anything?!?!? WHY?????????



Edit:  I totally didn't go. I really don't know what my problem is. My sister didn't go to school, either. I think she's depressed. It's probably because of the whole changing school thing. Oh well.
My friend didn't email me  back yet, about meeting for coffee. I thought we might actually be meeting today, but I suppose not... we had never made actual, set plans.. so whatever. I'll see soon, when we'll meet and all. And then I think I'm having coffee with my other friend next week, I think.

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