I had another thought about something. It could or could not be true. I am just musing about all these things, as it is. Trying to figure things and life out.

When someone's yearning for another, whether someone specifically or just... someone... and they want to have love and romance and be close to them and share their lives with them, I think this is spiritual. I think possibly you are trying to connect to God. Now listen to this... if God is love, and in a way we are all a part of the same thing that God is made of, then really, what we may be doing is trying to re-connect to THE ALL, to God, to the giant massive energy form that is us all, that is a part of God somehow... like we are all separated from God, and from each other, but God cannot exist without us existing... even though we are made of the same stuff.. kinda like how your child is made of what you are made of... like God is this dual-one energy thing, and procreated with itself, and created US. Yet, this has always been? Like... God exists AS God because we exist as not God. And WE, then, are all the same stuff, having come from God, and we are all broken into tiny particles of the same thing - different consciousness though. We have conscious thought, and free will, in order to be able to consciously able to choose to become a part of this giant whole. This giant whole has to work together, have the same motives, be on the same frequency. We have to all work together to be one, and to work to and want to be a part of God (again?). Or, maybe we will now never be a PART of God, really, but more... still his children, worshiping him, but ALL TOGETHER.

So, we used to be one, but we are dispersed all throughout the universe... and Adam and Eve procreated and created a child kind of like how God created us (Adam and Eve are both just parts of the same thing, apparently... taken from his rib? His rib is HIS, so it is still HIM... they are the same! Yet... different consciousnesses) and so God is showing us how creation takes place. Showing us how we are all kind of like God.

So anyway... we all have to now consciously make a choice to be a part of it all again. We are thrown into this world, and if we sink under the pleasures and distractions of this physical world, then we sink... and we die? That sounds so harsh. But, perhaps... it is true?
And so, the beings who want and yearn to be a part of the ALL again will do what they can to live in harmony with others, and with the world, and with what they perceive to be GOD. They will LOVE, and be caring and want what is best for everything. They will put others ahead of themselves. They will not succumb or fall slave to the worldly things. They will rise above, and connect with God and be on the frequency of love, and will transcend this earthly world, then, to once again be a part of the whole.

So... this world WOULD be like a testing phase... to put it horribly, a weeding out of the ones who would not meld with the ALL. To take the ones who desperately want to live with God, and to pull them through. Yeah?
Wow... and I seriously have NO IDEA how close or far, far away I am... in this whole idea. If someone or something could just take me and grab me and TELL ME what it is I am doing right, or doing wrong... and what is right and what is not correct... oh goodness, if ONLY!!!! I want to know the truth. I want to.

I dot want my soul to die forever. i don't want to my soul to be harmed forever. I want to transcend, to live on, to be with God, living in lov, forever. That is what I want. Is it attainable? Is it? HOW?!?!??!? Why do I feel that that is not for me?? WHY??? I this a false idea? Is it because how I am living NOW does not match up? I really want to KNOW!!!!

Oh God... please hear me... please hear what I am saying... I really, really want to be with you.

Oh. If I really want to be with God, then I will obey what he says, and do what he wants, and live that good life. I should live how I talk... I should stop being a hypocrite. I should stop saying 'tomorrow' because i know that one day, tomorrow will not come. It will be today, and I will have to live up to how I have... lived... here on earth. I will have to attest to all that I have DONE, not just said or thought. I will have to have my LIFE as a witness to my thoughts, and I really do want that life to be something that God can finally be proud of. I suppose I am  not living this way right now. I suppose if I want to live Godly, then I have to... freakin live godly!!! Not just think about it, or use fancy words... but LIVE IT!! Show God I MEAN IT!!!

Oh wow, god.... please help me do that! I just love God enough to do that. I definitely do love others. so, I have to learn to actually LIVE that way, and not just show it. I must do that right now.

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So, the thing about yearning for other people here on earth. We are really just yearning for God, for another piece of ourselves... that is what we want to connect with. Sure, we can find that in another. We can find that in anyone. It is the lust that our body wants. THAT is the part that we could ignore. That is the worldly part. I suppose that part is fine, a long as it does not control you and take you away from what is REALLY love.

But the connecting with another soul? Well, of course we want to do that. We are split off from others, and I think that the other souls that are on the same vibratory frequency will be more attractive to you, and your energy will be so close to the same level that you will want to meld into one another. After all, the possible big picture is for ALL of us to do this, eventually; to all be on the same level/wavelength and to meld with each other. This wavelength/frequency would be love. That's what I think. We are all just yearning for God, and for that connection again. Yup.

I think, I guess, it gets confusing when the lust/physical part of you is mixed in with the spiritual/wanting to connect with another's energy part of you. I suppose you could use the physical attraction to become closer to them on all levels, but it is when the lust turns sour, or controls you, or gets in the way of the more important things, that it is a problem. Yeah?  Oh, I don't know. I think.

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